I mentioned via The Twitter today that I wished my standard form rejection could read “Sorry, but your agent is in another castle.” Obviously, I was joking (even though that would be sweet), but a number of followers responded that it would certainly soften the blow. This got me wondering about form rejections in general.
They are designed to be as impartial, encouraging, and non-threatening as possible, despite the fact that they are completely impersonal. As writers who are publishing-savvy, you are no doubt aware that no agent likes giving such a reply, but the sheer volume of queries we receive sometimes make it impossible to personally respond to those we need to pass on.
So, a bit of a project for all of you who have either experienced the dreaded form rejection or are still living in fear of it. How can we agents “soften the blow” without resorting to lines from late ’80s video games?
Welcome to the fake-agenting world, writers! Leave your one-to-two sentence professional form rejection in the comments. Maybe we’ll learn a thing or two.
Sarah LaPolla 
I started self-rejecting myself by enclosing rejection letters written in the style of yoda/a pirate/an alien in my SASEs. It softened the blow of paying for (stamping) my own rejection. It was fun, but had it come from a real agent I would have thought they'd lost their minds. (It's a double standard that I don't pretend to understand.)
Really, as far as form rejections go, I prefer a rejection to no response every time, but even a few generic lines will get the message across. “Pass” or “Pass and God bless” aren't acceptable, but “I hope this finds a home and you find someone who will champion your manuscript as it deserves” works for me. I also liked the few I received which recommended a few sites like the “Guide to Literary Agents” or so on. I don't think you should ever say “resubmit” unless it's not a form… in my opinion.
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Some good suggestions 🙂
@Kate – Love it! (obviously) I'll add “A flawless profile, a perfect body, the right clothes, and a great car can get you far in America – almost to the top – but it can't get you this agent.”
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I'm in the interesting position of working in acquisitions for a video game publisher, so I know what it's like to reject projects that don't work for my company. We never use form rejections, but I wish I could. It's REALLY hard (and time consuming) to be specific about why you are rejecting someone's work and still be encouraging. If I could use a form rejection, I would use the simplest rejection that I've ever received. It went like this:
Dear Author:
No thank you, but thank you for writing to me about your novel, TITLE HERE.
Yours sincerely,
Agent
If I could use this form letter on a regular basis and get away with it, I absolutely would. So I wouldn't mind at all if I received it on a regular basis. It gets the job done, and it's better than nothing. Because, let's agree. Nothing is so much worse than “no thank you.”
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Kate, that is hilarious! That rejection would get framed and hung on my wall.
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Seriously, I much prefer a form rejection to NO response.
I'm fine if the form rejection says, “No thank you.” That's it. A “no” is a no, regardless of how many sentences you put behind it.
Thanks for caring. 🙂
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Led Zeppelin didn't write songs everyone liked– they left that to the Bee Gees. Unfortunately I am more of a D'yer Mak'er girl and your MS is more Saturday Night Fever. But party on, author. Party on.
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First off – I LOVE that people will send a form reject. It's so much kinder than “no response means no.” Also, I prefer *not* to see something that praises the writing or says “you're so close” in a form, because that just can't be true for every letter that gets sent out. If I see that in a letter I always really hope the agent means it!
I'm one of the ones who loved your '80's video game reference, but other than that a simple, “Thanks, but this isn't for me” is just fine.
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When I started looking into the query process, I found an article about writer's needing to form a Rhino skin. Aka rejection will come, will suck, learn from it and move on. Do not take personal offence.
As for the form rejections themselves, most are very polite and encouraging. I would love to see one with humor in it.
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Don't reinvent the wheel–this nut was cracked by the medical profession long ago:
lollipops.
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Heard more than once,
“Best of luck to you…”
You'd think with all this luck I would have an agent by now, LOL.
Great post!
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I'm kind of with Scott on this one. The form rejections I've rec'd have been worded nicely and encourage me to query widely, the project isn't right for me at this time, etc, etc. The forms are polite/friendly even, but they're still a form.
However, I will say that I MUCH prefer a form rejection to no reply at all. I understand how insanely busy agents are and I know you receive an overwhelming number of queries on a daily/weekly/monthly basis so any form rejection is always better than nothing.
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I would love to have boxes checked as to why it was rejected. Boxes like- query needs work, rewrite sample pages, not marketable, have seen this a million times before. That way, you would have a better idea of what isn't working. I know there is obviously no time for this, but I think information softens the blow.
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How about, “I'm afraid this project isn't for me. However, I see promise in your writing and I hope that another agent snaps you right up.”
Friendly, encouraging, but suitably firm. I remember getting something similar and the bit about “seeing promise” did make me feel better about the rejection, although I assumed it was part of a form rejection.
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While I personally would love to see something more along the lines of a magic 8-ball inspired rejection (i.e. Ask Another Question, Try Again, etc.) I think any attempt to be clever and humorous would probably be taken the wrong way by the less secure writers among us . . . but I do so love something that rejects me with wit.
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I like how Max Cool ended his… saying that you're open to query your next project softens the blow, even if it is added to the end of a form.
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Nothing will soften the blow of a form rejection.
However, I understand just how busy most agents are, and have no problem getting rejected by form.
Rejections hurt, period. Though I choose to take them as a challenge.
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You’re so close. I mean, like really close. Breathing heavily. Nanoparticles away. On the verge, in the sweet spot, in the wheelhouse, leaning the exact right direction. I can almost, very nearly, smell your success. All you need is a little polishing, and some Mentos, because success is not all I can smell.
Feel free to query me with your next project.
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“I appreciate the hard work you've put into your manuscript. Although we aren't a match, that doesn't mean there isn't one out there for you. Keep writing and practicing your craft.”
I think what I miss most from form rejections is an acknowledgment of the hard work that the agent rejected in 45 seconds, flat. Which is okay, they're busy, and they know what they want. But I just want a bit of respect for my professionalism.
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“It's not you, it's me.” 😉
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